Speaking of Bullies...Underdogs, How Dare You?

Recently I was nominated for the Canadian Weblog Awards 2010 People's Choice category.  I believe it was this post that got me the nomination.  I kind of stepped out of my mundane journaling box with that post and the rest is history.

Once the voting started I believe I honestly didn't have a hope in hell to win, or even be in the top 3.  I am a blogging underdog,  who got stuck in a poll with a ruthless top dog.   Lucky for me I have a wonderful network full of people with OCD who actually care about me and wanted to see me kick some ass succeed...they worked diligently posting reference to my blog, emailing their entire contact lists, texting and talking, facebooking and sharing.  It fired my neurons with excitement, I actually had a chance.  This little unknown blogger gained some momentum and started to take the first place spot.  Then this ass came along.  She calls herself a minx but I think weasel (small, active predator, long and slender with short legs) would've been a better fit.

Then the hits came. More hits on my blog, more hits on the voting but,  the hits soon turned to punches.  Low blows like the one in my first paragraph which felt so good is totally beneath me, I realize that but, I have to add some sort of humor in all this, otherwise it's just not honestly me writing.

According to some my blog was a snore, I was cuckoo (okay that one was bang on), I was a terrible lazy blogger who had no right to go toe-to-toe, and then I was a cheater.  Interesting that I am a small-time blogger with a poor design and I don't rank on Alexa (whatever that is) but, I somehow can manage to cheat on a fucking web poll and masterminded the whole thing while I was working a full time job, preparing for 3 family Christmases, baking and decorating gingerbread cookies for bake sales, attending school concerts and travelling to 3 separate out of town gatherings?  I'm more talented than Harry Potter I ever thought....apparently.


The final straw was when I saw that comments were infiltrating the Weblog Awards themselves and the attackers mother was on there calling everyone hater trolls and the administrator of the awards was observantly irritated with what was going on.  It is the Canadian Weblogs Awards position to maintain a free and public award system which will not be tainted by the creators personal opinion or infiltrated to police nominees behavior surrounding the awards. At first I felt like this was a no contest plea by the administrator and just another bullying bystander who was not willing to intervene but, after processing a bit I understand the position completely and agree with it.  There will be no People's Choice category in 2011 to eliminate any small people from ruining incidence like this from ever happening again.

I hate that I've even been named or involved in this whole shenanigan and my only comfort is that I kept my dignity and moral footing.  A friend wrote to me "Rest assured that you were second technically, but ethically you came in first!"  That was much more important than winning any sort of popularity contest or winning something at any and all costs, even if it meant tearing apart the other contenders in the process.

I'm glad that I have arrived at the final stage of the Kübler-Ross model which generally refers to the process you go through in the face of tragedy but, I find it usually applies to most difficult situations that provoke thought or emotions.

Stage 1 - Denial:  "Oh no, she didn't" / "She can't be referring to me" / "If I just ignore it, it will go away"

Stage 2 - Anger:  "Why me?" / "What did I do to deserve such hateful attention?" / "I'm going to fire back, I don't care if it's not "big" of me." / "I wish I lived in Toronto, I find her and kick her in her opinion with my ninja boots."

Stage 3 - Bargaining:  "I will send her a nice message, ya that'll work, kill em' with kindness" / "If I win, it'll all be worth it so, it's all good."

Stage 4 - Depression:  "Ugh, I don't care anymore" / "I wish I was never nominated, never blogged, never did anything that people could criticize me for." / "It's all pointless and stupid, I just want to cry and sleep and cry some more."

Stage 5 - Acceptance:  "It's not the end of the world" / "I still have things to say" / "Who cares if 1 person thinks the worst of me, I am not the jackass whisperer."

I decided to withdraw from the voting because the whole thing got ugly and jaded and it just became about winning.  The original  meaning behind the award got thrown out the window and it wasn't fun anymore.  I'm happy that the attacker will win it, she deserves it and has worked hard to obtain it.  Blogging is something I do, it doesn't define me.  It is not my entire life, only the most significant a small part of it.  I certainly do not want to covet an award or need one for validation...feel free to nominate me for every category next year.

I believe the entire experience was a total pain in the ass lesson for me, I still have more to learn.  So I blog on, good or not, award worthy or not.

I would like to thank everyone who broke into houses to use alternate IP addresses read, voted and supported....sorry to have wasted your time and energy but, I felt like withdrawing was the only way to end this with my mind dignity intact.

Now for some lyrical genius by The Time totally related unrelated:

Body of a superstar
The mind of a 10-year-old
She wants 2 take U 4 a ride
The Stella has hair of gold
The lights are on upstairs
But is anybody home?
She's not lookin' 4 a man
The girly wants 2 be alone

She's the queen of glamorous, everything is right
All the fellas have a fit anytime she walks by
This woman would be dangerous if she had a mind
When Blondie tells U what U want 2 hear, don't waste your time

CHORUS:
And her name is Blondie, sexy socialite (Dumb blonde)
Diggin' out on the town any given night
And her name is Blondie, the queen of glamorous
And the game is money, the girl is dangerous

Her fatal beauty's blinding and her intentions not kind
She tried 2 take a part of me but I caught on in time
She lives a life of make believe, takes what she wants and leaves
Blondes, they do have more fun, but how dumb is she?

CHORUS

Blondie, my glamorous superstar
U took it much 2 far
And now U look like "What happened?"
Blondie, a dangerous socialite
She hangs out every night
And the neighborhood game is 2 dog U blind

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (Moving on)