Boy in the Kitchen, Episode 5

The boy in the kitchen is wearing me out!  You know when you start a tradition with your child and at first, it's all rainbows and gumdrops, then it gets a little tedious, and finally it becomes your worst nightmare (okay maybe that's just me)....we've officially crossed over to the dark side. 

I've created an 8 year old obsessive cooking psycho-child.  He is relentless and now has me making two things on Sundays and is slowly trying to brainwash coerce me into Saturdays too.

Why couldn't I have just taught the kid to order pizza and do laundry?  Not to mention he is a total control freak like me his dad and now he has to do ALL the steps himself, except for the mixing because his arms will fall off so he appoints me to that torture job.  You see pictures of him making Cheesy Quinoa Crackers....you don't see that we also made Chocolate Cinnamon Shortbread which has an aftertaste of baking soda because he insisted on doing it himself.  Guess who's having shortbread for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 2 weeks?

All joking and wasted money aside, I am really proud of him for being so pushy dedicated to cook each week.  We do enjoy spending the time together even though sometimes he notices me giving him the stink eye from across the room and then "accidentally" spills sesame seeds all over the floor.
 The nicest part about it is that because he is doing most of the "work" now, he just bolts out of the room once everything is in the oven.  I call him back to help clean and his response was "You always tell my Dad that whoever doesn't cook has to clean." 

I'm so happy to see my little kitchen Nazi boy growing up and developing his own interests and passions.  I still hope that one day this will all pay off and I won't have to do it anymore will come home to prepared delicious meals and baked goods.

Until then, I keep cooking with the cutest boy in the kitchen!  Apparently, next weekend we are making eggnog because the stuff we buy in the carton at the store is now beneath him.  Lord, help me Can't wait!

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Kitchen Slave)

AWOL Boy in the Kitchen, Episode 4

Boy in the Kitchen was unfortunately sick on Sunday when our cooking extravaganza was scheduled.  He woke up in the morning, ate his breakfast but, then his father practically force fed him one of those delicious mini-oranges (in AJ's opinion).  His father was forewarned that there would be regurgitation and indeed, there was. 

I was busy on the phone making possible plans to go sledding but, he already had plans to go skating, it was all so confusing.  It's a hard job being AJ's personal assistant and I don't get paid nearly enough to be doing it.  In mid-conversation I said "Oh, looks like tobogganing is out, I think I heard AJ throwing up."  pretty nonchalantly I might add.  Hung up, went downstairs to find kid hugging toilet, pants around ankles and husband glaring at me like I should have been there for the big event.

Everything seemed to be under control so I left ninja quick before AJ could spot me and use his Jedi mind tricks to lure me into the puking mess and be the official back rubber.  I've had to deal with my fair share of puke disasters in his lifetime, and this one was relatively low key...bailing was definitely an option.  It was short lived, he stumbled out of the bathroom in no time, flopped dramatically onto the couch and curled up into a ball.  At this point Judd and I started asking him a question about skating, unsure why really...the kid is sick and we are concerned about whether he actually likes skating?  AJ half answers most of the questions and then exclaims "Look you guys, I don't want to talk right now."  Okay, we get him off to his bed, tuck him in tight and he sleeps for the majority of the day.  No more throwing up, nothing.

I suspect that the "sickness" stemmed from him eating most of the chips and dip I put out the night before on his own (meant for 3 people) while I was distracted by the need to reposition all the Christmas ornaments on the tree that were incorrectly placed.  I think he also ate about 12 Ferrero Rocher chocolates but, who can be sure?

Luckily, he had begged, whined and pleaded nicely asked  on Saturday if we could make Applesauce Oatmeal muffins together so it wasn't a total cooking loss.  I have been making these for years and they are a favorite in this house.  I stopped making them because the slave drivers boys were eating over a dozen of them a week and just kept demanding asking for more.  I hadn't made them in such a long while, I was happy to do so.  Baking is getting relatively easy for me now as AJ can do most of the work.  He gathers the ingredients, preheats the oven, measures everything....all I have to do is most of the mixing because his arm would fall off otherwise (or so he tells me) and putting things in and out of the oven (because I think AJ needs the use of his hands for as long as possible).  I did make one mistake, gave him a little leeway with the recipe and he ran with it, to the extreme.  Raisins are optional in the recipe but, we like them so I told him to put as much as he wanted but, gave him a clue as to how much.  I SAW him put in 1/4 cup (good measure I thought).....I didn't see him put in the other half cup and wondered why the batter looked so raisin condensed.  The muffins were good as usual but, mostly taste like raisins.  Those who know me well would be awfully proud of me to give him such freedom with the raisin adding, generally I am more of a control freak recipe follower.

Ended up making Latkes (potato pancakes) and Chicken Matzo Ball Soup all on my own on Sunday.  AJ learned about Hanukkah last week in school and he loooooves Latkes so I was forced happy to try my hand at some traditional Jewish cuisine.  I have made Latkes and Chicken Soup (from scratch) before but, never Matzo balls so this was a new feat for me!  I had fun talking to myself in the kitchen but, I did miss the boy.

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (Undercover Ninja)

Sunday Baking With a Boy in the Kitchen, Episode #3

Well, we gave baking a shot today and for some strange reason (named Husband).  The icing was the consistency of nacho cheese and ended up melting down the sides of the first 6 cupcakes....yes it took me 6 cupcakes before I realized this was happening, does this mean I'm stupid?  Maybe, moving on.  Aidan thought it was pretty darn funny, and his mockery seemed to increase the angrier I became.  Whatever, okay so I'm not the icing queen...pffft at least the cupcake part was good.  I decided to add more confectioners sugar to thicken the icing and that worked....a little.  So if you have cavities, I would stay far away from my cupcakes as the icing kind of just is sugar at this point.

On a positive note....I am a thief....yep, cold hard criminal in the making.  Today I decided to stop in at Canadian Tire, a friend tipped me off that they had those magnetic spice containers and I have wanted them FOREVER!  You see I have over 36 different spices/herbs and blends (mostly because I am a spice hoarder) and they are scattered in various places in my kitchen.  This becomes an issue when I tell Aidan to go fetch a certain spice and 15 minutes later I find him buried in them trying to find the correct item.  Anyway, so to buy the containers individually they were $1.99/each.  I decided to just grab a box behind the display that was unopened and had 24 containers in it.  That was a good start I thought....headed off to the check out, grabbing a snazzy mini grater on the way.  Beep, bloop (that's the sound of the scanner).  This is the checkout girl: "That will be $8.54 please."  I looked at her, kind of stunned, processing the price in my mind.  Then my mind says "Shut up, pay and run!!!"  So that's what I did....I think I broke a sweat waiting for my card to be approved....please don't notice, please don't notice.  Then it happened....she put the items in the bag, handed me the receipt and I booked it out of the store before she could realize that she scanned the box, which only had the price of each individual container.  So I saved myself $45.77 to be exact and it felt pretty darn tootin'.  I'm sure it will come back to haunt me at some point.  Now I'm going to be completely paranoid that every bad thing that happens to me from that moment on is directly related to the fact that I was purposely dishonest but, it's totally worth it! 

The cupcakes we made were Chocolate Pumpkin Cupcakes with crappy delicious Orange Cream Cheese Icing.  Aidan thinks he wants to be a baker when he grows up, I told him he better find a new teacher then because I am no baker....also told him there's much more money in plastic surgery because if I stop myself from saying things like that I would win way too many "Mom of the Universe" awards.  He loves me anyway because I give him cupcakes 5 minutes before he has to go to bed, I am that good of a mom, you should try not to be so jealous.

As you can see from the pictures, the Husband came up to help mix the icing while I cleaned up the baking shit storm that was my kitchen. I think he mixed it for about 243 minutes while trying to look sexy for the picture, therefore I blame him for the nacho cheese icing.

I have awarded Aidan the title of Official Egg Cracker because he has become very efficient in the art of egg crackery.  So if he learns nothing else from me, he can always tell people I taught him to crack an egg.  I've pretty much done my job as a mother.

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper  (baker extraordi-NOT)

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

You know the times when your child approaches you ever so cautiously immediately upon your return from work twiddling their thumbs, making just enough eye contact to give you the kind of look you only see on World Vision commercials, with a little sway action in their hip region and with the sweetest of voices, the kind you rarely hear and you know has been rehearsed and they say "Mom, do you think you might want to play with me?"  

Why is it that intuitively they somehow know that right now, at this very moment you are at any second liable to become comatose from the sheer exhaustion of life?  I believe my child has some sort of sixth sense (or somehow picked up spidey senses from all those Spiderman cartoons I kept him occupied with so I could nap on the couch I watched with him) that accurately gauges how tired I will be when I arrive. He deliberately homes in on it especially on days where I have gotten amounts of sleep that are dangerously low, and the computer breaks down at work, and I've only had 2 cups of coffee, and I had to make 2 stops on the way home, and, and, and......"Of course bud, just let me finish wolfing down my already cold dinner that I've barely chewed because my stomach is eating itself after only having time for half a cup of cold oatmeal for breakfast, and some luke-warm microwaved left overs from 3 nights ago....I'd LOVE to."

So, we made a tin can robot.  Well, I did.  Aidan helped by singing Christmas Carols in all sorts of tear your hair out annoying amusing voices and dropping all the miniature screws all over the floor.  At one point (I must've blacked out from rage) I was apparently cursing enough for Aidan to announce that he was going to his room until I could "control" my swearing.  After an hour of hard labor , my our masterpiece was complete (cue evil laughter here).  All I had to do now was rip open all the electronic items in the house in search of 1 AA battery (NEVER included)....we no longer can use the TV remote in the house but, the robot was A-LIVE (and again, evil laughter).  It turned out pretty cool, Aidan ripped it's eye off within a matter of milliseconds and we all (dog included) ran around the house chasing the robot laughing and having that silly kind of fun that makes it all worth it....every fucking blissful minute!

Note to self:  Start a swear jar and then use the money to buy myself new shoes.

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Mad Scientist)

Whaz That?

Eyeball assault = Result of playing with 8 year old

"Look Ma, a robot"

A Boy's Place is in the Kitchen

Just a quick picture post this evening....will be posting an update very soon, lots of goings-on in the St.Godard House lately!  These pictures are from last weekend when Aidan and I decided to bake a Pumpkin Chiffon cake on Aidan's request that I "should bake more".  Apparently unbeknownst to me Mom's are supposed to bake ALL the time, go figure!  The squirt actually enjoys it in the kitchen so I've made it my personal mom mission to have him cooking me dinner and baking for me by the time he enters his teen years.  Last weekend he learned to crack and separate an egg and how to "fold" ingredients and also mastered the art of licking whipped cream off the beaters.  We're off to a great start! 

 
 

Until next time!

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Baker-Mom)