My Loose Screw Fell Out

Yesterday I was all kinds of crazy.

My day started off seemingly normal, got up, cup of joe, walked zombie-like around the house mumbling to myself, deliriously rummaging through clean laundry Mount Everest to find work pants which will need to go in the dryer again for 5 minutes because I am too lazy to iron them and seriously lagging in the putting away laundry department.  I did one thing different...no Beta Blocker.  Figured my pulse was normal, no palpitations that I could feel so I must not need them....I would wait until I felt like I needed them....yeah, that's a good plan.  Turns out, probably not, go figure.

Continuing the day.....go to work, forgot to do about half of my month end duties then the call from the Endocrinologist's office.   "Hello Sarah, Dr. Moron doesn't know why you were referred to her because your thyroid levels are normal."  I explain to her my symptoms, the goiter and the tachycardia.  "Well, Dr. Moron would like you to come to Timbuktu on Friday  and wait 16 and a half hours at the busiest lab in the world because we know you have nothing better to do, and have a 5th blood test done that will show us the exact same results.  Then Dr. Moron will decide if you should be seen by her."   This conversation started a wave of what I will call "psychotic episodes" for lack of a better description.

Called my Dr's office.  "Um, could you have my Dr. call me please?"

Receptionist: "Um, doctors don't call patients."

My other personality (the not nice one that belongs in a straight jacket):  "I don't really give a s**t WHAT doctors DON'T DO, I've been taken off my anti-thyroid medication, don't know if I should take my Beta Blockers and now the Endocrinologist doesn't know why I've been referred to her!!!  Have my DOCTOR CALL ME!"

Receptionist:  " I will give her the message."

I felt pretty good about myself at that point, look at me go all intimidating and stuff.   Starting to feel a little off at this point, my boss is looking at me kind of funny and asking why I have so much energy.  I get her to take my blood pressure and pulse and then spend the rest of the day walking around with the blood pressure cuff hanging off my arm so I could check it at 10 second intervals, having tremors that I'm sure were registering on the Richter Scale and found myself getting progressively more aggressive towards everything in general.

Came home, walked 20 miles on the treadmill before realizing it wasn't plugged in.  Had a nice lady Dr. friend put things into some sort of perspective for me and made me a little more at ease about the conversation earlier with Dr. Moron's assistant.  Then my husband came home.......I should stop the writing here because once I continue you will really know crazy and it's name starts with a "Sarah is".

Husband was a little quiet, started making dinner but, in my world he was quiet because he was mad at me for not starting dinner, he was pouting because he was making dinner and how dare he NOT care about what was going on with me.  So I started talking to him (which strangely he perceived as yelling), honestly I can't even remember what I said but, I knew it didn't make sense even as I was saying it.  That didn't stop me though.

Proceeded to then call my Mom, and ask her if it was an option for me to stay there (in her house about an hour away, with the highways and the snow, 1 bedroom and of course I was bringing Aidan)  I figured this was a perfectly rational plan.  Good for me.  Back to husband, tell him I am leaving with Aidan (if he wants to come) until I am better because right now I cannot deal with him being mad at me for not making dinner when I have all this crap to deal with.  At this point he has already mentioned at least 36 times that he is not mad at me for anything, just tired and wanted to get dinner done and over with.

Go into Aidan's room, I am concerned that he has heard us fighting and saw on Dr.Phil that this irreparably damages your child to the point that they will become a serial killer.  He is reading a book.

Crazy Mom: "Hey buddy, can I talk to you for a minute?"

AJ:  "Sure"

Crazy Mom:  " Are you upset that Dad and I were fighting just now"

AJ: "No, not really."

Crazy Mom:  "Did you hear me say that I am going to Beppe's (what he calls my Mom)?"

AJ: "Yes"

Crazy Mom:  "Do you think that's a better idea than me and Dad fighting?"

AJ: " Ummmm, I don't really care, can I read my book now?"

Crazy Mom: "Do you want to come, or stay here with Dad?"

AJ: "Well, Beppe does have a fire pit but, wouldn't I have to get up earlier than usual to get to school on time?  I would rather stay here but, I would miss you and how would I cook with you on Sunday?"

At this point I realize that I am talking to an 8 year old who bases his decisions on who has a fire pit.  This is going nowhere fast.  Irreparably damaging, yeah right.  Thanks for making me look like a fool Dr.Phil, because otherwise I appear perfectly normal.

Called my Mom back to tell her it's a no go.  Interestingly she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief but, in my crazy state I probably only thought it was relief when really she was upset because she wanted to see me so badly, who doesn't?  Gave AJ a hug, told him not to worry and everything would be okay (not like he was worried....at all).  Took a Beta Blocker and WHAM....felt better within 10 minutes....that's strange, I thought and then thought nothing more of it.  Until today.....

I did the same thing all over again, no Beta Blocker, crazy, blood pressure cuff dragging on arm, tremors, collapsed in the door after work, took a Beta Blocker and magically better again.  I'm beginning to suspect a pattern.

On a side note, here is the message I left for my boss so she knew to get more half & half for the office.  I think at some point I also called her a dinosaur because she didn't use on-line banking.  She reminded me who signed my paycheck...I'm not sure why?


- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Super Intuitive Child Psychologist)