I've Been Trained

Met with the trainer today (Judd's sister).  Probably not a good start considering I stayed at a friends until 4am gabbing about nothing and everything all at once.  Dragged my ass out of bed at 10am had some french toast complete with syrup and butter (also not good before meeting with trainer) but, I didn't cook it so it can't be held against me.  Guzzled 2 cups of coffee (again...well you know).  Had a shower so as to not be bagged, fat AND smelly....and away I went 10 minutes late.  Come to think of it not being late should've been one of my resolutions because I seemingly do it all the time, although never my intention.  It must be because of all the Plants vs. Zombies I play some unknown force that just always wants me to be late for important dates.

Ordered up some iced teas and Kitsilano sandwiches which were yumma!  Got down to business....real skinny business.  Basically she told me that I am lucky to not be obese considering how inactive I am and that I eat junk food almost every night addictively....also the 4-6 cups of coffee I have daily each with cream and sugar to which she sort of just dropped her jaw.  I had to agree, the only thing that has saved me would be that I have the knowledge on how to eat properly and I do, all day everyday until the evening munchy gremlins get me, and they get me good.

The plan is to have "activity" 6 days a week.  3 strength days, 2 endurance days, 1 flexibility day and 1 day of rest.  Pretty cool right?  Yeah, she's an awesome trainer and really knows her stuff....she is possibly the only person I've met who actually can teach me things I didn't already know but, just haven't applied to my own daily existence.  I trained with her for a bit before I had to appear in a bikini in the Dominican and she practically killed me (kidding) but, it was crazy intense, I wasn't even allowed to watch TV while exercising...I cried a little.

I took the above picture of the pendant light fixture (totally not distracted) while she did a nice routine up for me, with goals to reach because she knows how absurdly competitive I can be, even with myself.  She said that when I reach the goals in a month or a week...wait a second, was that a challenge?....Did she challenge me and I'm not even realizing it until now?  Sneaky, very sneaky.  There are free weights, treadmills, resistance bands, stability balls and tables involved?  I'm a little terror-stricken but, I think I'll be able to manage.

She was demonstrating (in the middle of the restaurant) how to do a Lateral Raise and I just asked her to write "chicken wing" so I would know what to do....she may have been unimpressed at that point, I can't be sure.  There were a lot of things crossed out on my plan because I would tell her "oh, yeah bring it on that's so easy" and then when I saw what she was writing down I had a panic attack and started telling her she was crazy to think I could do all that.  So she wimped it down for me quite a bit to start out...nice of her I guess.

So my aim is to do what is laid out in the plan 100% of the time but, I FAIL if I don't get 80% for 6 weeks time.  Surprised that I am being graded (or must grade myself), not sure when a healthy lifestyle became some ivy league test but, I am too scared to find out what she will do to me should I fall below the 80% marker.  She may be tiny but, I know from experience that when it comes to personal training she doesn't fool around and can be quite frankly....scary.

I have to get 3-4 servings of whole grains, 5 of protein and 6 of veg/fruit daily.  Drink 3 litres of water (minimum 2 litres) and I must attempt to eat every 3 hours until dinner....breakfast when I actually wake up (coffee does not count as breakfast apparently).  Not to mention that I have to cut the coffee down to 1 cup a day, she would've preferred none or to drink it with only milk added but, that was non-negotiable for me.  So caffeine and sugar withdrawal plus tight muscles and having to pee every 5 seconds due to increased water intake should make for some fun times.  I would stay far away from me if I were you and batten down the hatches...wait for the all clear, make sure you bring plenty of supplies.  I've been warned this could take 12 weeks before I feel good about it.

I can have "extras"....which I am no longer allowed to call "treats" because she says a treat doesn't make you feel like shit (which was the most intelligent thing I've heard in a while). "Extras" are things that have no nutritional value but, she forgot about Reese's peanut butter cups....hello, peanut butter?  Totally not an extra....just totally not kidding!   I have to evaluate first whether or not to actually have the extra....do I really want it?  If I do, it's alright to indulge as long as I stay on par 80% of the time.  I've already calculated this to mean that I can have an "extra" 10 2 times a week.

E is for "extra" and elephantine (is that even a word, because if it is I am thoroughly impressed with myself) and excess and ewww

Then, I took the picture below (with only my Blackberry on hand) again, not distracted at all.  It was my view through the mesh blind in the restaurant...I thought the colors and the building silhouette's were totally cool with the sun beaming down on them.  I've missed you sun.

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (One day at a time....as long as it's 80% of the time)