Tubby Tuesdays

Foreword:  So I started writing the following post this morning and I'm going to publish it anyway even though so many things (basically me being an uncontrollable psycho) have transpired since beginning it.  I will post more about what happened today, tomorrow.  On with the show....

I've been thinking a lot lately about my health and.....my muffin top.  Although I doubt there was much I could've done to prevent Graves' Disease and Fibromyalgia (still think that one is a joke) I am almost certain there are things I can do to improve my symptoms.  In fact I know there are but, I much prefer being a big fat blob on the couch, eating my nachos and drinking my Slurpee while allowing one single tear to continuously flow from my left eye just so everyone knows how very sorry I feel for myself.


It's Genetic, I swear!



It's not that I want to look like a direct relative of the dough boy, in fact it's quite the opposite.  I actually have dreams about having the body that I did before my precious body snatcher son came along.  I miss you long lean legs, I miss you scarless flat tummy, I miss you tight uplifted rump...I mourn you daily.  Now I have more folds than origami and realize I either need to get moving, get motivated or just accept the weight that I have put on and dress it up as a permanent part of me. 

I have every excuse in the book not to do it.  Whaa, I don't feel good today.   Whaa, I have scars and stretch marks and cellulite, I'll never be the way I used to be so what's the point in trying.  Whaa, whaa, whaaaaa!  The reality of the situation is that I better get my fat ass in gear before I start treatment for the Graves' because at some point I am going to become Hypothyroid and it's going to be that much harder for me.  I am also prone to type 2 Diabetes genetically and hey, well why not throw that onto the heaping mound of crap that I already deal with.....I think not.

The sad and arguably most pathetic part about this weighty situation I've put myself in is that I am probably the most knowledgeable person on the planet earth (understatement) in health and weight loss.  Yes, that's right....I have worked at a weight loss clinic, an organic food store, I have taken courses in natural this and that, started a certificate program in it and have done countless hours of reading and researching on my own.  Now to top it all off, I work for someone who specializes in health via diet/exercise and supplementation....I have every resource at my finger tips but, very rarely apply it in my own life.

So I think now is the time to start.  NOT a diet, or an exercise program.  No, not this time.  It is time to start being accountable to myself and to others.  Every Tuesday I will blog about it...so that I am somewhat accountable.  I promise not to lie or leave out any details....like when I hide in the closet with the Nutella and eat the whole jar with a spoon and then take the top layer of trash out of the garbage can, put the empty Nutella jar in it and recover it so my husband won't see it and then yell at him for eating all the Nutella and not telling me so I can replenish the stock when I grocery shop. Just as an example, not that I've ever done that.  So right now, I am committing to do my best, be honest when I fail and take baby steps to make myself better (and less lumpy).  Starting tomorrow.  Right now I'm going to get into some fat clothes, watch the Biggest Loser, gluttonously eat nachos and relax.  WHAT?  I had a bad day.

Just to show you I am totally serious, I'm going to take a huge step and do something I'm possibly totally going to regret.  I am going to post my BEFORE picture.  Please don't laugh, or judge....it would crush me. It is very revealing and a picture I allowed my husband to take of me in a bikini on a private beach just in case I wanted to use it as a before picture.  I didn't think I'd have the guts to do it until now.

-The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Tubby Mommy)