Dear Graves' Disease; I Hate You.

I don't have Cancer or some other disease/condition that is going to cut my life short and put me through all sorts of unimaginable hell but, I have to say that you, Graves'  Disease are becoming a real pain in my arse.
I think you are being rather cruel and I wish you would take yourself to the nearest high rise building and take a flying leap off of the top.  Then, I hope that you fall to the ground, maybe even on a box of nails that some construction worker left on the sidewalk by accident with all the points facing up.  That would be nice of you, and you should do that STAT.

Stat is what the Dr. ordered yesterday, with complete authority and I was rather enamored with her because she has failed me in the past, more than once.  This was indeed a nice and welcomed change in our seemingly everlasting relationship.  When she took my pulse today (which was high at 108 bpm) she could feel the palpitations that are happening to my heart, now even with the Beta Blockers.  So Beta Blockers, I am also not too fond of you lately either, way to do your job.  Pffft.  She kind of got googly eyes after she felt them. In case you don't know that look, it's the one that tells you that a Dr. has been awoken from the coma that a countless number of common cold symptoms, and limitless embryo sonograms has put them in.  It's the thrill that a Dr. gets when they have a patient sitting right in their very own family medical practise that actually has something that needs immediate attention.  They get to put on their detective cap and they start frantically doing laps around their exam room (yes, it is possible even in that small of space).  You can practically see the wheels turning in their minds...."This is urgent, this is the most exciting thing that's happened to me all week!"  Awesome, I'm glad I could give her a thrill.  While she is doing laps and I am practically having a heart attack on her table (total exaggeration) she manages to tell me (even though she is a little out of breath from running laps) that I am Tachycardic which basically means that my heart rate is too fast....duh!  Anyway, I think the main concern was that the palpitations are indeed increasing and therefore I am now on an increased dose of Beta Blockers.  I seem to tolerate them quite well on the other hand so I'm not too concerned about that.

I was pretty convinced that I no longer had (or never had) Fibromyalgia so I mentioned that to her.  She told me that the two are totally unrelated because I had all 18 trigger points which generally confirms it and that they had tested my thyroid levels consistently during that time to rule out a thyroid problem.  Now, that doesn't mean that I haven't had Graves' disease for longer than just the past few months, it just wasn't showing up and I still have Fibromyalgia as well.  I just about kicked her in the taco at that point.  That may sound harsh but, I always hated that label the Rheumatologist put on me and I kind of wanted it to be vetoed by the Grave's....no such luck.  I immediately went home and got in the shower fully clothed and cried (another total exaggeration).  What I really did was take some Beta Blockers and went shopping with a friend...it was super good times!  I got a call later on from said Dr. telling me that my thyroid levels were pretty good and that the medication seems to be working (for now)  so that is good news, and I am quite happy not to take an increased dose of that poison because it hasn't been all that fun thus far.  Unless you consider being a zombie fun but, I don't think you would like the taste of human flesh (although I heard it tastes like pork...mmmm bacon).

So that's it for now, my adventure continues....still waiting for the ultrasound to determine the fate of my new close friend the goiter, still crying in the shower fully clothed and hoping for a speedy(ish) recovery.

- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (the most awesome Tachycardic person you know)

We're All Mad Here, You'll Fit Right In

A classic quote from Alice  in Wonderland that completely encompasses my daily life.  If you can remember about 2 years ago my rantings about this so called "blanket" diagnosis I received called Fibromyalgia  read it here, well apparently the Dr's (who I have reason to believe receive their credentials from Cracker Jack boxes) have gone back to the drawing board and have come up with an actual diagnosis, a real disease I tells ya!

So the new verdict is Graves' Disease, it is not as "grave" as it sounds though.  Let me tell you a little about it...

DUDE, Where's my Thyroid?

Firstly, I am not crazy, I have Graves' Disease, no really not crazy!  Yep, all those times when I got hulk psycho on some of you, finished your sentences because you just weren't talking fast enough for my hyper-driven Graves' mind, ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off stressing about minute details that you all knew really didn't matter it was ALL the Graves' and not really me, or that's my story now anyway.

The diagnosis came about when I stopped sleeping...literally.  I was getting on average 2 hours of broken sleep, waking up with what felt like my heart trying to claw it's way out of my chest and surprisingly was able to still function, I was super human, finally there were enough hours in the day because I no longer needed sleep!  It was a little concerning and a lot annoying but, I figured it was stress, or Fibromyalgia, or just a some kind of cycle that mimicked one of those spinning carnival rides, the one's that you throw up a little in your mouth while standing in line for.  Whatever, I was bound and determined not to let it get me down, not to let it interfere and to keep on truckin' no matter the cause.  Then came the Goiter.

Hmmmm, can't swallow solid food without this gnawing feeling of it hitting a lump in my throat and then a feeling of food being stuck there, this may be a problem I thought to myself.  Then my boss blew it out of the water...."Umm Sarah, why is your neck swollen?"  With a quick feel, she told me that was my thyroid and I should probably seek medical advice in the speediest of fashions.  Speediest of fashions meant 2 days later because I refused to miss work to see those weirdo's with the white lab coats who like to ask silly questions, tell me it's all in my head and give me that "you're a crazy person", "whens my coffee break" glazed eyed look.

Lucky for me, the Dr. at the St.James Clinic didn't think I was weird at all.  In fact it was quite the opposite...he wondered why I hadn't come in sooner.  That's a joke all in itself but, I became a little concerned at that point.  What? You are not going to just tell me it's a virus, or stress and send me on my merry way?  WHAT?  He immediately left to get an Endocrinologist on the phone, to no avail (and he was seemingly flustered at this point) he advised me that I was to start taking Beta Blockers immediately as my pulse and blood pressure were abnormally high.  Personally, I thought being able to feel my heart beating all the time was perfectly normal, apparently I was incorrect in this assumption.  He muttered words like Hyperthyroidism, Thyroid Storm, Graves' Disease and that God forsaken "C" word but, would send me to that place where they harvest human blood for the vampire outbreak that's sure to come (otherwise known as the "lab") so he could gather more pertinent information. 

I have to admit, I was a little shell shocked, so I left and took my prescription to the conveniently located pharmaceutical drug dealer in the same building and got me some Beta Blockers....whatever those were.  I later found out they were to steady my heart so that it beat more efficiently.  I was told to go straight to the hospital without passing GO if my symptoms were to worsen, or I felt chest pain.  I know your thinking I slept happily ever after from this point forward....not quite.  Up all night, worried because I could not feel my heart beating and had a strange heaviness in my chest.  Boss orders me to go to the hospital, this is not normal, and she didn't seem to be buying my rationalization that they were side effects that I just "had to get used to". 

St.Boniface ER was an adventure in of itself but, there I was told to lower my dose of Beta Blockers, and also had results back from blood work that it was indeed Hyperthyroidism....sent on my merry way once more.  The meds were doing their job quite well now and I started to get some better rest...super!  Early in the week I received a call from the walk-in Dr, asking me to come in because his blood tests show antibodies which indicated Graves' Disease.  Long story, even longer he has now started me on anti-thyroid medications as I have Thyrotoxicosis and cannot wait for a specialist to start treatment.

Now the waiting begins, for an ultrasound on the goiter to see if I need to have it removed and also to see an Endocrinologist to discuss further courses of treatment.  I am not holding my breath, taking it one self loathing day at a time, determined to deal with it as best I can and only cry about it curled up in the shower fully clothed (for dramatic effect).



- The St.Godard Brood Keeper (aka Thyroid Storm, your new favorite super hero)